Love triangle or love destruction.

Some people are on the table, some are not. My friend got herself into a major mess.

She has very few close friends who she can wholly trust and this man, well, she thought she could trust him. I’ll call him Tobias. Weeks went on and she started leaning on him more and pushing me away. I tried warning her about what looked like would happen but she would not listen. Soon, it came about. He kissed her. And she didn’t know how to feel. She began to panic, wondering if this was a good thing. How he could do so many bad things and still be her favourite person. How she can know he is bad and still want his kiss. She knew he was talking with other girls, yet trusted his word when he told her she was the only one. That he would cut them all off and she was his focus.

That was never true.

Not once did he really cut them off or let them know he had someone. So the lies and manipulation continued. The secret kisses behind curtains and in empty hallways, with little words of hidden meanings. But she was wary enough to not fall entirely. To really think and wonder if there could be someone else out there for her. There was. For a while.

He will be Gabe. They started talking and he cared about her. So much so that she let go of Tobias. Quit talking to him. She was able to depend on Gabe and he didn’t push her to do anything. But, every person has another side. He bought her food and made sure she was okay when she looked down, yet treated her so terribly when there was even the slightest of problems between them. I talked her through her feelings and tried to help her see him outside of her rose-tinted glasses. She finally did but was not able to let go of her love for him. I told her that no matter what happens, I will be here to pick up her broken pieces and support her whole-heartedly. They flipped back and forth between talking and being lovable to hating each other, multiple times. It came to the point I stepped in a told her it’s not healthy for her and she needs to let it go.

She fought me. In the end, though, she gave in.

Gave Gabe an ultimatum, he had to prove himself to her or they were done. He just agreed they were done. So she turned back to Tobias. He was very hurt still and was quite against getting close to her again. She pursued and forced him to have a conversation with him. Afterwards, he wanted to be with her again. So they fell back into habits of secret kisses and inside meanings to words.

They seemed happy until she discovered his secret.

He had not been truthful with her or anyone else. Tobias had been playing with and stringing along multiple girls for months. One, I’ll call Haley, believes she has been dating him for over a year. He claims to be single and has been since his last girlfriend. He even plays with his last girlfriend, she’ll be Riya, making her believe he might want her back. He twisted his words to make my friend believe him and hide what he does with other girls. She had fear in the back of her mind and did not want to believe he was doing such wrongs. Yet she knew he was bad for her. She began trying to pull away from him and he kept reeling her back in with his slippery words.

It was a fight to even begin to pull away. 

She managed to begin, though. We worked together to keep her mind on other things, keep him away from her and start her on a new path. They stayed friends, no more. She pushed him away when he wanted more and made it clear she did not want it. It was a blissful time. That is until yet another guy came into her life. And another. And another. 

Both she and I began learning from then on that love is more difficult than he’s cute and nice. It takes experiences and time to understand if someone is good for you. It takes being with someone outside of your common setting to really learn who they are and how you can connect. Never be afraid to defend what you want and need and express yourself when something is wrong. That time is when I learned some people are options. They connect with you and you could have a future. They’re on the table.

Some are three doors down in the basement. 

 

** Names have been changed **